This painting came to light in the depths of winter, just as I did little but write, write, and write my dissertation. As with other works in the Tarot series, my creative drive was spurred by the recurrence of The Star card whenever I sought comfort in the ritual of divination. Equal parts inspiration and despair, the card acutely reflected the desperate drive during the final stages of the PhD and the suffocating emptiness it imposed on other aspects of my life.

This work became a cry for salvation, a prayer for a mind where a synthesis of art and science could thrive.

The impasto painter’s smock and foliage adopt an almost sculptural, high-relief appearance, contrasting with the glazed depths of water and the shine of skin. The paint staining the smock swirls, echoing the cellular organization of the hippocampus and cortical structures - the seats of memory and identity - as the brain swallows up the form of the painter. Water - a symbol of emotion - spills from its sulci, flooding the canvas, melting the brain. The flood feeds the lush foliage of ferns and wandering vines.

Superstition - shards and curses

oil on floor-length mirror frame, 18” x 60”

June-July 2023

A mirror broke in the night

Its balance got upset. I wasn’t sure what set it off careening from its shelf.

Its shatter shocked me wide awake,

and light sliced through my eyes,

as I sat up to behold the troublesome surprise.

Glass daggers glittered on the floor beside their former frame.

The omen’s cutting edges lodged deep inside my brain.

It’s superstition — hearsay from savage days of old,

when mirrors were extremely rare and could absorb your soul.

So I spoke to soothe my fright and to dismiss the craze.

My reason reached a compromise with mystical malaise.

The seven years of bad luck are bound in what remains: the plywood backing and the frame revived by vivid paint.

-August 29, 2023

I have earned my PhD on April 24th, and ever since I felt… not free, but perhaps more sane. The paintings shown here span the pre- and post-defense. My current state is that of flux, both reassured and tense.

Future directions: incorporate neuroanatomy and cellular morphology into representations of internal states.